I recently wrote this letter … one year after my MS diagnosis.  

Dear MS,

It’s been one year since I learned that you’re to blame for my puzzling health problems. And I think it’s time we have a chat.  

First of all, I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to steal the joy from my life. You made me tired – sometimes so weak and tired that I feared I had cancer. You messed with my sense of balance and embarrassed me when I tripped in public. You gave me awful, room-spinning vertigo that made my stomach churn and heart race. You triggered my headaches. You inflicted mysterious, unpredictable pain throughout my body. You gave me anxiety, depression and a slew of other symptoms too personal to mention.   

But I want you to know that your plan backfired. You were hoping to discourage me, but God took everything you dished out and used it to encourage me.

You tried to drive a wedge between my husband and me. Nope. Sorry. This past year I’ve seen so many practical examples of what committed, genuine, real-life love looks like. Yes, at times you put us to the test, but you also confirmed that Curt really meant it when he promised, “In sickness and in health.”

I’m sure you tried to cause tension between my kids and me. Well, it didn’t work. I have noticed; however, that my girls seem more compassionate. For example, while walking through the airport, one of them reached over and took a heavy bag off my shoulder. While waiting for a table at a restaurant, another girl stood up and offered me her chair. I love that they’re thinking of others. It’s kind of a rare quality for teenagers.

You probably figured MS would isolate me from my friends. After all, it can be tough to make plans. But I’ve learned that true friends understand if I need to cancel. They also send me notes of encouragement, listen when I need to vent, pray for my health and bless my socks off in many other ways!  

I’m sure you wanted to discourage me personally – and yes, I’ve had my moments. But overall, I am a more thankful person than I was before you so rudely barged into my life. I am truly thankful when I have a good day with plenty of energy. I used to take those days for granted. When I see someone in a wheelchair or using a cane, I am grateful for the mobility I enjoy. Even if I do trip sometimes.

I’ll bet you thought an MS diagnosis would make me question my faith. Well, here’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned through my experience. Control is an illusion. We may think we’ve got life under control, but we don’t. We can’t even control our next breath. Honestly, I find this comforting. It takes the pressure off me, and puts it on God – a God who created the entire universe and also made me in my mother’s womb. I’m pretty sure He can keep my little life under control.    

Yes, you blind-sided me with the diagnosis, but now I can share my story and hopefully encourage others and raise awareness for a disease I knew very little about only one year ago.

Don’t get me wrong, MS. In case you’re tempted to take credit for these lessons, let me be perfectly clear. You are not welcome here. If given the choice, I would always choose to live life without you. You’re free to go – any old time you’d like. But even if you don’t, I’ll still be okay.

Cordially,

Sheri