My 93-year-old grandmother has severe Alzheimer’s. It’s heartbreaking. She doesn’t remember her family. She can’t communicate. If she does try to speak, she just babbles nonsense. It’s difficult to visit someone who doesn’t recognize you – or even respond to you. But last week, Madison and I went to see her at the nursing home – and I’m so glad we did.
We walked through the front doors and spotted Grandma hunched in a wheelchair near the nurse’s station. She sat with her elbow propped on the chair, holding her head with her hand. Every time I see her she looks less like my grandmother. I took a deep breath.
“Hi Grandma, do you remember me?”
She stared into space.
“I’m Sheri … Delores’s daughter.”
I felt awkward, but kept talking anyway. If nothing else, it helped me block out the guy down the hall who kept yelling.
“This is Madison, my daughter. She’s playing softball this summer and she does gymnastics. She likes to do flips.”
Grandma’s eyes looked vacant. I squatted down next to her. She was more interested in the camera hanging on my neck than she was in me.
We walked through the front doors and spotted Grandma hunched in a wheelchair near the nurse’s station. She sat with her elbow propped on the chair, holding her head with her hand. Every time I see her she looks less like my grandmother. I took a deep breath.
“Hi Grandma, do you remember me?”
She stared into space.
“I’m Sheri … Delores’s daughter.”
I felt awkward, but kept talking anyway. If nothing else, it helped me block out the guy down the hall who kept yelling.
“This is Madison, my daughter. She’s playing softball this summer and she does gymnastics. She likes to do flips.”
Grandma’s eyes looked vacant. I squatted down next to her. She was more interested in the camera hanging on my neck than she was in me.
I thought back to better days for Grandma, before this mind-erasing disease stole her memories and her words. Grandma was always there during special moments of my life. She may not remember them, but I do.
She was there on my wedding day.
She was there every time I brought home a new baby. She always brought a gift – a soft and cuddly baby doll. (She gave all three of my girls their first baby dolls.) And she sure loved holding her great-granddaughters.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a picture with Grandma. I gave Madison the camera. “Will you take a couple pictures?”
I kneeled down. “Can we get your picture, Grandma?” She looked at me.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a picture with Grandma. I gave Madison the camera. “Will you take a couple pictures?”
I kneeled down. “Can we get your picture, Grandma?” She looked at me.
No. I mean, she really looked at me.
Then she reached out with her shaky hand and gently touched my cheek. She stroked my hair and looked into my eyes. Then she tried to speak. Her words made no sense, but she said them with conviction, as if they made perfect sense to her.
At that moment, Madison snapped this picture …
At that moment, Madison snapped this picture …
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well I believe it. This photo represents another special moment with my grandma. And to me, it’s worth a thousand (unspoken) words.
If you enjoyed reading this, you might also like to read the tribute I wrote about my grandparents and their 72 years of marriage. Click here to read my blog post: “A Model for My Marriage.”
What a lovely story. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for stopping by my blog, Marie! 🙂
Oh my, Sheri! This is beautiful! You can see that connection she made with you in her eyes. She just looks like she’s saying, “pay attention because I have some important things you need to know”. I cannot believe madison got these pics at the prefect moments. This is precious. Absolutely a God gift just for you. Wow!
I think you are right about it being “a God gift.” Madison took several pictures (and with some of them, she practically cut off our heads! ) but these turned out beautifully … And they totally captured the moment. 🙂
Oh sure, now I am sitting here in the bleachers at a ballgame with tears streaming down my cheeks. Nice story.
Thanks Aunt Janet. I don’t know if you knew this, but I tried calling you the other day before I went to see grandma. (I tried mom first but couldn’t get ahold of her!) Anyway, I was wondering what time grandma usually eats supper or when they put her to bed. Turns out, Madison and I showed up right after she finished eating so it worked out well. Oh – and sorry about making you cry at the ball game. 🙂
Sheri, this is a really sweet story. I know it must be hard to see your grandmother in her current state, but I am for you that you have so many years of memories. My grandmother died at 93 a couple of years ago, and she was always a wonderful part of my life. And, my grandparents on the other side made about 68-69 years of marriage. Thank goodness for grandparents like that, right! Great post!
Thanks for your comments Hally. I can’t imagine being married for that many years … Some days I feel like 20 years is a long time! Thanks for stopping by!
See your aunt Janet cried and I am too. But I am at home and wrote myself a note make sure to read this today. Beautiful
Thanks Sondra! 🙂